Wow aren’t you guys lucky, within the past 24 hours I have compiled what is to be three lists. For some reason this idea popped into my head and it stuck. For some reason I just wanted to compile a list of people you’d want to bring home for the holidays. Especially if you were having sexual relations with them before they met your folks.
10. Hermoine Granger from Harry Potter
Hermonie is a funny name, very funny. Never mind the fact that she’s a super nerd and a dweeb and stays in on Friday nights reading books instead of partying. She is the perfect girl to bring home but at the same time one of the worst. Why? She’s super hot when she hits that 18 year old mark in the past year or so and on top of that she’s smart. If i were Harry I would have been trying to tap that since year 3, legal for him, not for me.
09. Yuna from Final Fantasy X
Yuna is very mature for her age. She realizes that she has to save the world from the evils of Sin. Yes it’s so deep that they trust a late teenage girl to do it. She handles the task like a true champion. Although I never finished the game itself I imagined her to maintain that respect and politeness throughout the game and in the future. Plus she’s not one of those ugly girls, but she’s rather easy on the eyes. Dad would be proud.
08. Arwen from Lord of the Rings
Arwen has a nice body. Rocking tits and a smoking ass. Dad gives you a high five under the table while mother just drops her jaw. How can her son nail a broad like this. Damn. Not only is Arwen banging but shes old meaning she has manners and is polite and courteous. That is a deadly combo that makes her a rather interesting guest at the table although don’t talk about dying cause that might be something she’ll never experience.
07. Indiana Jones from the Indiana Jones franchise
I’m noticing a trend here, this is a manly list. Why are there so many males in the fictional world that we would take home to mommy and daddy and be like this is my good friend or lover so and so. Indy has lots of stories to tell at the table, like the time he was at a book burning and met Hitler! Or how about the time he met aliens? Oh man he just won’t die so I guess he’d be a great dinner guest. I mean what else would happen other than a little adultery.
06. The Dude from The Big Lebowski
Alright I may be stretching it here but the Dude seems like a pretty cool guy. He’s down to earth. He can talk the talk. But man does he cuss. That’s the only downside to a man like this. Sure mom and dad will think you brought home a bum for the holidays maybe sending a message to them that you know you make too much food or whatever, man. The Dude though always will abide and he’ll let you know that. Maybe he just needs money for drugs or whatever, man.
05. Juno MacGuff from Juno
Sure she’s preggers in the movie. But come on just look at her. You know you want to take her home and have her meet the folks. She’s adorable, like Ellen Page…she has this way with people you know. I mean listen to her talk to her friends your parents will think you picked up a stray early teenager who still hasn’t caught on. On top of that she’d rather have a hamburger phone than a cell phone. Besides you’re just gonna wait till mom and pa are out like a light then convince her to have sex with you on the family’s recliner. Good going, let’s hope your soldiers can’t swim…whoops too late.
04. Obi-Wan Kenobi from the Star Wars film franchise
For starters this man can either be old or young. It really doesn’t matter in his case he doesn’t change. He’s polite and courteous, so he makes for the perfect person to meet your folks. Sure he might have some strange fetishes and kinks but then again who doesn’t these days? That’s the point. At least he’ll be reserved and collective when your folks bash gay marriage and you know deep down inside he is a gay and wants to marry but can’t not because of that Jedi BS but because the Republican Party got him down.
03. Professor Charles Xavier as seen in the film and comic series X-Men
Handicapped guy that can read minds? Sounds like a fun dinner guest. Sure he’ll be trying to figure out what you are really thinking instead of what you are saying and yet somehow manage to say something pertaining to what you said. At least if he starts up a conversation at the table it won’t be about how he wants to destroy things it will either be about mutant rights or how he is jealous that you can walk. Maybe he’ll grab a baseball bat and paralyze you, thus making him a bad guest.
02. Captain America as seen in the pages of Captain America
What a red blooded American the Cap is. He takes down Nazis for a living. He defends our freedoms and the least you can do is have him over for some Christmas ham. You’re folks will love him especially if they are nice Republicans. I mean honestly. How many times has the Cap been a giant d-bag. Next to none. It’s a safe bet he’ll be getting some nice gifts from Santa too. He’s not the most elegant human being in the world but by gone he’s got more patriotism than Tom Brady.
01. The Doctor as seen in Doctor Who
Sure he’s a time traveler and an alien but he’s a bang up guy. He speaks with a British accent and the most recent incarnation wears bow ties. Keep in mind he always has a constant companion with him, so you know you won’t get left behind until at least 13 episodes if you are imperative to the stories, or you’ll be an episode appearance if you are a guest star. The Doctor is tops on the list because of his charming British accent and his suave way of handling the ladies. See 2005’s season finale for instance.