Golden Globes Announced…And No One Really Cares

The Golden Globes are entering their 68th run around the circuit and once more no one really cares. I mean come on, you have the Academy Awards, the big bang, the big to do coming up in the spring and the Golden Globes is like derrrr I’m the special cousin of the Academy Awards. So /Film brought you the listing of the categories but I’m going to go deeper into the list and give you my insight. Let’s only focus on the important categories shall we?

Best Film: Drama
Black Swan
The Fighter
Inception
The King’s Speech
The Social Network

My Thoughts: Holy shit Inception got nominated woot! And are you serious The Social Network is considered to be one of the best for this year? WTF. But honestly either they are being a bit premature with the nomination for The Fighter or it’s that good. I haven’t seen Black Swan but early reviews say it’s that good but The Social Network seriously!?

My Pick: Inception
I really liked Inception, I loved it. Seen it 3 times in theaters, got a poster of it on my wall, ordered the deluxe blu ray pack on Amazon. I love this movie, it was genius even if there was plot holes and the like. It deserves lots of awards.

What They’ll  Pick: The Social Network
First off people feel bad for David Fincher. His last movie got robbed, Benjamin Button, the man directed Fight Club, and another movie that either got robbed or won and it shouldn’t have in Zodiac. The movie is about Facebook. Facebook rules the world with China. How can it not win? While it was a good movie it has serious competition on that list alone with Inception and Swan. If it does win then it’s a good sign the Academy people won’t let it win there too…or will they. CURSE YOU ZUCKERBERG!

Best Film: Comedy or Musical
Alice in Wonderland
Burlesque
The Kids Are Alright
Red
The Tourist

My Thoughts: I have seen only one of the movies on this list and it was awful. I’m looking at you Alice. you don’t deserve this. Burlesque I heard was so so and if Rotten Tomatoes is right then clearly it sucks. And the same is said for your new film Mr. Depp, The Tourist has gotten rank reviews. The only two movies on this list that are fresh are RED and Kids.

My Pick: The Kids Are Alright
I haven’t seen it. I want to see it, it’s just that I don’t have the urge to see it. I’ve  heard its good, the trailers look enticing. The five minutes I’ve seen look enticing. And the plot is well better than some other movies I’ve seen lately.

Who They’ll Pick: The Kids Are Alright
Kind of obvious here, they’ll pick this one, it’s an indie film. Indie films are loved at awards shows.

Best Director
Darren Aronosfsky, Black Swan
David Fincher, The Social Network
Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech
Christopher Nolan, Inception
David O. Russell, The Fighter

My Thoughts: Not bad. Of course it’s funny that all these directors have their pictures nominated for best film in the drama category. In all honesty the three directors I really like are Nolan, Fincher and Aronofsky. I think those three have the best shot at an Academy Award this year for this spot too. It’s gonna be tough to call.

My Pick: Christopher Nolan
I love Nolan’s films to death. They are amazing and thought provoking. Sorry Aronofsky, I think you’re gonna get robbed here like you usually do. Inception was genius and it got more than just the smart people to go see it, you had everyone see it. Black Swan only had limited openings which doesn’t bode super well for Aronofsky’s rave reviewed film

Who They’ll Pick: David Fincher
It’s obvious that Facebook has power, and this doesn’t surprise me. While the film was good it wasn’t grand or amazing or mind blowing. His directorial skills were ok, not the greatest but they are good. Fincher wins because it was a movie about Facebook. Plain and simple.

This is my sexy side

 

Best Actor: Drama
Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network
Colin Firth, The King’s Speech
James Franco, 127 Hours
Ryan Gosling, Blue Valentine
Mark Wahlberg, The Fighter

My Thoughts: Ugh this is more tedious than I thought. Eisenberg pretty much was  himself in Social Network but it wasn’t bad. Wahlberg cannot be judged cuz his movie ain’t out yet. I haven’t seen the other films. Why is Leo not nominated. Seriously I want to vote Leo.

My Pick: James Mother Fucking Franco
I love this guy. If he can appear on 30 Rock and have a romance with a sex pillow and he’s playing himself…he can laugh at himself. I really do like his style and from what I’ve heard he carries this movie like no tomorrow. Kudos to you Mr. Franco, you won a meaningless award because I have no say in the matter.

Who They’ll Pick: Jesse Eisenberg
Duh, I’m calling this once again because critics everywhere loved this movie. They loved it so much they deemed it the movie of a generation. And that makes Eisenberg like the Jesus of a generation. So enjoy this while you are relevant sir. Enjoy while you can.

James Franco...meet your wife

 

Best Actress: Drama
Halle Berry, Frankie and Alice
Nicole Kidman, Rabbit Hole
Jennifer Lawrence, Winter’s Bone
Natalie Portman, Black Swan
Michelle Williams, Blue Valentine

My Thoughts: Wow, what a great list. Kidman, Berry, Williams and Portman. Great great list. Too bad most of these movies I haven’t seen nor can I legit judge on them. I guess I’ll go on attractiveness. Kidman is over the hill and was married to Tom Cruise. I don’t like Halle Berry (it’s not a race thing trust me). Who the fudge is Jennifer Lawrence. Michelle Williams boned Heath Ledger and they have a kid, that can be hot. Natalie Portman was my gateway into puberty…which means….

My Pick: Natalie Portman
I’ve heard she is amazing…in bed…no wait I mean in the movie, yeah that’s what I mean. Black Swan is well her swan song into the Academy Awards circle this year and Portman can act, she’s not just a pretty face. I’ll tell you what.

Who They’ll Pick: Natalie Portman
Duh, she’s awesome you cannot not pick  her based on any other quality.

How to Seduce Men by Natalie Portman

Best Actress: Comedy or Musical
Anette Bening, The Kids Are Alright
Anne Hathaway, Love and Other Drugs
Angelina Jolie, The Tourist
Julianne Moore, The Kids Are Alright
Emma Stone, Easy A

My Thoughts: I didn’t know my pal Lauren Cook was nominated for her performance in Easy A. But seriously, almost a stellar list except for Jolie. The Tourist sucked and boy is the panel gonna feel bad if it wins anything cuz we can’t have shitty movies win awards. Moore and Benning are strong front candidates for the win although poor Hathaway doesn’t stand a chance, but then again neither does Stone.

My Pick: Anne Hathaway
I heard the movie was awful but her performance was impeccable. I could be wrong, but then again I didn’t see any of these movies so I’m just going on a whim here.

Who They’ll Pick: Annette Benning
This wouldn’t be that bad, she’s a good actress. The movie was good. I heard she was great in it but Julianne Moore deserved it more…or something like that.

Hey guys, don't you wish I was your girlfriend?

 

Best Actor: Comedy or Musical
Johnny Depp, Alice in Wonderland
Johnny Depp, The Tourist
Paul Giamatti, Barney’s Version
Jake Gyllenhaal, Love and Other Drugs
Kevin Spacey, Casino Jack

My Thoughts: Not fair at all. Depp has a 40% chance of winning for one of his bad movies and the rest have a total shot of 20% each. Grrrr. If Depp’s movies this year didn’t suck I would say sure thing let’s give it to him. I’m not sure if i eve like Giamatti. And Jake is such a dope that I don’t think he can win anything.

My Pick: Kevin Spacey
Dude dominated in Moon. Dude was Lex Luthor. Dude is due for an award. But at the same time the movie wasn’t great. God this must have been a shitty year for movies.

Who They’ll Pick: Johnny Depp
Why not. He has the best shot at winning. Give to him for the love of god. Why not just nominate him 4 times and then leave the last slot to Spacey. But then again watch Spacey win in that case.

Spacey wins an award while having hair, and network TNT still exists

Best Supporting Actress
Amy Adams, The Fighter
Helena Bonham Carter, The King’s Speech
Mila Kunis, Black Swan
Melissa Leo, The Fighter
Jackie Weaver, Animal Kingdom

My Thoughts: Wait why does this only get one category, why is there no drama or comedy category for best support. That’s a rip off. But let me say this again, how is the Fighter getting nominated so much. I don’t get it. Is it out yet? I could be wrong and it could have been out last week…oh wait it was shit the fuck out. I don’t know who i want to win this.

My Pick: Helena Bonham Carter
She’s good at what she does. At least she’s not being nominated for Alice or Harry Potter

Who They’ll Pick: Amy Adams
She’s pretty. They need a pretty winner.

a slightly attractive helena bonham carter stares blankly at you

 

Best Supporting Actor
Christian Bale, The Fighter
Michael Douglas, Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps
Andrew Garfield, The Social Network
Jeremy Renner, The Town
Geoffry Rush, The King’s Speech

My Thoughts: Bale is a great actor. Garfield is not, Renner was great in The Town and Rush is a great actor. Bale though went all out for this role and he looks scary as fuck. Garfield is only nominated because of Facebook, surprised it’s not Timberlake. Renner probably did the best next to Bale in terms of acting and Rush well we can’t say anything about him. I get why they picked Michael Douglass. Isn’t he dying or something?

My Pick: Christian Bale
I haven’t seen the movie but if a man goes from being jacked and shit to being a scrawny man for 1 role and then puts it back on to be the Dark Knight again in a year to two I’d say that’s dedication. Also he’s prolly gonna kill himself soon doing that. Bale is great, I love him even if he yells at light people. Sorry Andrew Garfield be a better actor.

Who They’ll Pick: Michael Douglas
Not that Wall Street was a great movie or his performance was that great either, no offense, but the truth is, this man is dying. When you have Stage IV Throat Cancer and are put on a special weight diet you don’t have much time left. They give it to him as his last award ever, we cry a bit and then mourn him at the Academy Awards in 2012. That wasn’t meant to be rude or disrespectful though. It sounded it.

"Look I know I can't be Batman, look at my arms man"

Best Screenplay
Danny Boyle and Simon Beaufoy, 127 Hours
Lisa Cholodenko and Stuart Blumberg, The Kids Are All Right
Christopher Nolan, Inception
David Seidler, The King’s Speech
Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network

My Thoughts: Well you can get rid of any indication that there is going to be competition here. The Social Network is nominated. Game Over Man…oh wait Nolan is nominated for his script. His mind bending ass raping script. Shit Sorkin your game is up.

My Pick: Nolan
Inception was well written and it took many years to write, if that’s not enough to go out and vote for it then I don’t know what is.

Who They’ll Pick: Nolan
I think they’ll agree with me on my statement simply due to the fact that those who vote against Inception winning just didn’t get it.

Don't look at me, I'm masturbating to my own genius

Best Animated Film
Despicable Me
How to Train Your Dragon
The Illusionist
Tangled
Toy Story 3

My Thoughts: I’ve seen all but the Illusionist. We all know going into it who the clear winner is. Tangled was exactly that, pure garbage. How to Train Your Dragon was heartwarming and almost flawless. Shame it won’t stand a chance. Despicable Me would have a shot in almost any other year like Dragon but Pixar totes out the big guy this year.

My Pick: Toy Story 3
A near flawless film in the animated standpoint. I have nothing else to say.

Who They’ll Pick: Toy Story 3
Derp.

Black Swan
The Fighter
Inception
The King’s Speech
The Social Network
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About Angerbanjo

As passionate as one can be about certain topics it is hard to make a living with that passion, that being said my passion for nerd culture, modern music and video gaming has yet to translate into anything moderately successful, that and my degree in electronic media, but hey at least I can use that journalism minor. View all posts by Angerbanjo

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